Dear Montreal

It has been very hot today. Too hot. This unacceptable level of heat has been going on for a week and I would urge you to promptly Stop It. I may sound like a whinging child when I say that 32-35 degrees is an unreasonable temperature. I am British. We are unused to such climes. Unless we are vulgar lardarses in the Costa del Sol shouting at Pedro, we tend not to experience this phenomenon know as "summer". We may have sunshine yes, but any temperature exceeding a comfortable 24 degrees is rare and then it is offset by a good thunderstorm and some rain. Whilst a British person will inevitably complain about this, due to 'complain about the weather' being our default setting, we actually like it. We do not know how to cope in real weather. As such, a centimetre of snow brings our country to a halt and we fry like bacon in the heat.

I have been wandering around Montreal this week attempting to find an apartment. This process has been greatly hindered by aforementioned weather. Walking around has not been comfortable. I have sweated so much that, I am convinced, the salt water running down my back could create a new Dead Sea. I am stressed and my hair is frizzy. This is not a good impression to make upon potential housemates.

You may dismiss the level of responsiblity you hold with regard to climate. "I can't control the weather!" you might say. Whilst I accept this is a valid point, I also feel that if you can keep me for nearly three hours at customs and immigration, then you can certainly give the sun a good questioning with regards to his intentions before you allow him into the city.

Yours sincerely,

Laura O